Hey “Dad” I Did it Without You

To the man who abandoned me 18+ years ago, thank you. You showed me that not only can I survive without you, but that I can build my own life that doesn’t involve you or any memories of you. Yes, there are things that I inherited from you (your eyes and your temper) but when I look at myself, I no longer see you. I see a confident young woman who has overcome her past and is creating a brighter future for herself. Yes, there are still times where I want to ask my mother how I can contact you to sit down and talk to you and ask you why you abused me, why you cheated on my mother, and most importantly why you left me to grow up without you. But I’ve realized that doing that will destroy any blockade I have in my mind of you, because my times with you weren’t pleasant at all. So thank you, thank you for leaving my life without a goodbye. Thank you for giving me up to my father and a better life. I’ve done so well without you “dad”. 

To the man who raised me and took me in when he didn’t have to. Thank you. You’ve shown me that family isn’t necessarily always a bond formed by blood. You’ve helped me create the strong and (somewhat) independent woman that I am today. You’ve given me a family that loves me unconditionally and accepts me even though I’m not theirs by blood. Yes, there are times where both of us are convinced that the other hates our guts. Yes, there are times when I’ve driven you insane with my lack of effort in school. And even now, as I prepare myself to go into the Army, I’m driving you insane by not being 110% sure on if I want to enlist or not (although to make you happy I’m still leaning towards enlisting) And believe it or not, I’ve inherited things from you too. Like your love of video games and odd fantasy books. Or even your chess “skills”. So thank you Daddy, for always being there and loving me unconditionally. I couldn’t do this without you.