Handle With Care -Stephanie Matts

Sometimes I am steeliron-clad, no words can break me

I wear my smile as armor

a shield that denies pain and deflects all harm

This mask I wear glows so bright

it blinds anyone its light catches

These are the times I am fearless

I can conquer anything and never be wounded

because I am superhuman

I am immortal and nothing can cut me

But I have to let this armor fall 

for it is heavy and awkward to carry

Under this armor lies something soft and fragile

it is intricate and beautiful

Without this armor I am labeled 

“Handle with care” 

The slightest touch with even the best of intentions

and I am shattered. Left to rebuild once again.

Every time I rebuild my armor grows stronger

but the snowflake of a person resting inside

much more fragile

This snowflake, a kaleidoscope of experience 

it becomes more detailed and complex

with each twist and turn

When this armor falls 

I am a sponge

I absorb everything, let it soak me to the core

but touch me and the tears rush out

quickly and all at once

Being built this way is exhausting

it is constant maintenance and never-ending construction  

Daily I fight between carrying this armor and

putting at risk the fragility that is my key

If you ever find your iron-clad snowflake

Please…handle with care
My best friend Stephanie wrote this with me and our friend Amanda in mind. If you do comment, please make it nice! 




If our love is tragedy why are you my remedy? If our love’s insanity why are you my clarity?

 I’m afraid of the word “soul mate” I don’t know why…just something about the word strikes fear into my heart. Maybe because every relationship I’ve been in that I’ve used the word in has ended within two weeks of me uttering or typing the word to my significant other of that time, maybe it’s because I’m afraid of committing myself to that one person… All I know is whenever I hear the term my heart rate drops and I feel the worst fear/anxiety I’ve felt in a long time.